SURPRISE!

Copyright June 1, 2000 Richard Kaplan

Bennu was doing what he usually did when other demands were not placed on his time - searching for Mira. The next set of burial sites was a few miles from where the trucker had dropped him off, and he settled into that easy stride that covered amazing amounts of ground. Soon he would be back at work, hopefully unmolested.

As he got close to his target, his mind began to pick up an amazing mental cacophony coming from where he was going! NOW what?

The "what" turned out to be some sort of communal gathering of young adults. Though he found it surprisingly difficult to read their minds, it seemed to be a ritual event called a "be-in." He hoped he wasn't intruding, but as this was the last site in the area, he really did want to check it out before moving on.

Fortunately, long hair, faded jeans, and large medallions - often all three on the same person - were rather common in the group, and he was mostly left alone as he picked his way through the crowd. I repeat, mostly left alone.

Earth people tended to be rather reticent, if not downright repressed, about sex, and he was quite surprised at the number of propositions he received as he walked along, though his experiences had warned him to expect what did happen - they were from members of both sexes. He politely declined all invitations, much to the dismay of some of the offerers.

Then somebody greeted him with "Groovy medallion! Want a joint?" and offered him a rolled-up bunch of dried leaves. The light dawned. Mind-altering drugs. That, of course, explained shy his telepathy didn't seem to be working right.

Now, plants are plants the universe over, and some produce various substances to discourage hungry herbivores. Eldebran had a fair number of drug-producing plants, too. They were even legal, since it was felt that any of Bennu's race who used them (except for special scientific experiments) was Immature - and that was about the worst thing you could call the average Eldebrani Adult!

He smiled as he recalled the one time he was involved with them. It was when he was still young - so many years ago! - back home. No, of course he hadn't taken any, but yeasts were certainly universal, and pollinators make honey. Sometimes it ferments.

He had been close enough to actually hear the screams of the terrified children. The problem turned out to be a large carnivore who had found and eaten the honey, gotten intoxicated, and was feeling playful.

Playful or not, it was still the equivalent of a bear, and the alcohol made it rather resistant to mental commands. At considerable personal risk, Bennu found himself giving it an ear scratch and a tummy rub while the children fled to safety. Suddenly, he had an idea. He planted the thought of another tree wiht "special" honey in the animal's mind, and it ambled off to find it . . . .

Back on Earth, Bennu had been making excellent progress through the crowds and found the entrance to the site quite nearby. OOPS! A large crowd of people were coming out of the entrance. Between the glassy stares, the "Oh, WOW"s and the muddled psychic emanations, they wer, as the quaint Earth term seemed to be, "stoned."

Oh, well. They, like most everybody else at the be-in, seemed to mean no harm. He walked into the entrance passage. Mixed with the smell of musty soil was a new odor - "weed" smoke. And, despite the much larger volume of the central chamber, the odor was actually stronger. The smoke was enough to cause watery eyes and a coughing fit! Such are the pleasures of the immature races.

Was that - could it actually be - the carving he was looking for? NO! It was a trick of Yago, who attacked immediately.

Bennu attempted to use his medallion in defense, but it didn't seem to be working properly. The Light was multicolored, and he couldn't properly shape it as a blast at Yago. It insisted on spinning, slowly at first, then faster and faster. SURPRISE! Eldebrani metabolism is simply far more sensitive to marijuana, and Bennu was, as the term went, "stoned."

Yago, for his own part, was also having problems. He thought he knew his adversary's mind quite well, but Bennu was different, somehow, and he couldn't seem to focus properly on him. Then Yago found himself caught up in the spinning Light, and tumbling helplessly, violently ejected from Bennu's mind - and the site itself.

As the drug wore off, the spinning slowed down, and Bennu began to regain control of his mind. He found himself facing a large crowd of people. His medallion had sprayed Light in all directions, and quite a bit had leaked out of the Entrance! Fortunately for their sanity, relatively few Earthmen had seen the ugliness that was Yago.

"Hey, wow, man, that was some neat trick. You need a job, we got an acid rock band who needs a light show!"

Bennu smiled at the thought. The smile froze aburptly as the speaker continued "Some creep from the Government was asking about you."

"Preminger?" Bennu asked worriedly.

"Yeah, that was the name. Hey, don't be so uptight. Idot thinks WE'RE gonna cooperate with him, especially after threatening to bust the logt of us. We gave him an electric Koo-Aid. He's got enough LSD in him to keep him occupied for several hours. We also ditched his clothes and dressed him in full hippie regalia - paint job included. Wait until he tries to report to his superiors - IF he remembers who they are! Well, gotta split. You better, too. This place will probably be crawling with cops by tomorrow."

Fortunately, there was a bus station several miles down the road. Bennu began striding.

The next day, the Feds were questioning the ticket agent. "Recognize this person?"

"Oh, sure. Which one? Sold 42 tickets to long-haired guys wearing jeans and a medallion. Some sort of hippie convention broke up last night."

"Any of them ask about Indian burial sites?"

"ALL of them did. They say the 'vibes are right' for whatever they do."

Preminger wept in frustration.